Fantastic. Keep saying 'Christ'. "Alan Attack!". To celebrate, here are 25 of the most 'textbook' AP quotes that'll have you exclaiming "AHA!" in no time. Madeline Mussen. The end of the beginning goes like this: glang! A great memorable quote from the I'm Alan Partridge movie on Quotes.net - Alan Partridge: You smiled then, Lynn.Lynn: No, I didn't.Alan Partridge: Yes, you did. Did you see that!? The series was nominated for three BAFTAs (winning two), two British Comedy Awards (winning both), and a Royal Television Society award. They taught you a trade. You are someone who has a proven track record for making mostly bad television programs. Not my words Carol, the words of Top Gear magazine! Either that or their fingerprints, eh? You know that feeling when there's nothing coming up. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. You feed beef burgers to swans. Erm, do you know you've got chocolate on your face? Alan: "Thanks a lot! No one had heard of Oxford before Inspector Morse. But today's also about fun. Share on Facebook (opens in a new window), Share on Flipboard (opens in a new window). Quotes.net. In 1974 I was catching the London train from Crewe station. Fly over one of those boring families going on a cycling vacation. Have you had your breakfast this morning, Robert? He comes out. [Taken aback, Lynn looks uncomfortable and doesn't say anything]. Tony Hayers: Well, unfortunately for you, I am the Chief Commissioning Editor of BBC Television. At the bottom of the net! Lynn Benfield: Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news? My girlfriend's 33. What does that say to you about regional detective series? 28. Felicity Montagu is coming back to play the tormented character. He's an idiot. Alan Partridge: Smell my cheese, you mother! This comes from personal experience. On keeping personal and private lives separate: "Lynn's not my wife. Alan Partridge: I've seen the big-eared boys on farms. Have something to add to this story? 9. Id just like to fly a helicopter all around Norfolk. And then he goes, 'Ahhh!' And then I fly off to Cornwall and I just smash in the sea in a big ball of flames. Which actually improves with every read. And, er, he's just skiing along like that, and they start shooting at him, and he goes, "Right! I am standing by a graveside, the wind whistling through my hair like a wind whistle. These are not my words, Carol, these are the words of Top Gear Magazine. And a broken home is not an excuse for evil. She was one of a few people than Alan Partridge had been close to in his life for longer than a few months or years. But a happy one. Oh, I sound like the devil. You will miss it. sufferers about the condition. 25 of the most textbook Alan Partridge quotes. I've got a girlfriend, she's only 33. Not my words, Michael, the words of Shakin Stevens. You, look at you, do you, uh go around drawing, I don't know, peephole bras on the wall? I looked up and saw it was none other than Peter Purves, it was the height of his Blue Peter career. "Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa Quotes." I'll tolerate one, but not both." - Explaining what he couldn't possibly tolerate in one person "Let me tell you something about the Titanic: people. 1 mo. Even though we're basically just listing chocolate bars. [they are then interrupted by a man who comes up to the table and greets Tony]. It's called a Rover Metro now. 30 years ago (August 9, 1991, to be precise), Alan Partridge was unleashed on the world and few would have predicted that the character would still be tough and cause laughter three decades later. Michael: Me, I'd, I-I-I'd have an, an Apache attack helicopter. I was trying to pay you a compliment, unless I've grossly misread the situation. Bits come out my shoe. [Alan is driving his Rover 800, using a hands-free phone headset]. Bye! Musk has been one of ChatGPT's loudest critics over how "woke" it is. Alan Partridge: Thank you for being this morning's farmer, Robert Moon. Alan Partridge: Right. It's not hardcore super-sex. Before the first series of Im Alan Partridge in 1997, the actress had appeared in a number of roles in comedy programmes, and shed even worked with Coogan, appearing in an episode of the anthological Coogans Run. I said, you too to a new face. Alan Partridge: [about to have sex] Let battle commence. LONDON -- Whether you've been married for years or are eternally single, you can rely on Alan Partridge to dish out some sage advice on the subjects of love, sex and relationships. Credit: Audible. Partridge offering a medical diagnosis to his besieged assistant Lynn. [Taken aback, Lynn looks uncomfortable and doesn't say anything]Alan Partridge: I'm being bawdy, Lynn. Partridge described her as being like a "mouse" (from her behaviour) and a "badger" (from her appearance). 1. Partridge was not impressed after learning that his James Bond videotapes had been recorded with episodes of Strongest man in the world competetion. If I squeeze it, a squirt of melted Bramley apple will shoot out. So, iou be Tony Hayers. Either way, one of us is going down." He's an idiot. You are sacked, I'm sacking you. Rolled on the thighs of a virgin. Let's just pop the extractor fan on, get a through draught going.". But Im Alan Partridge was to be her first major, recurring comedy role, and one that she really made her own. Would you like a second series of your chat show? Enjoy it. For the time being, they are brothers. I was talking to him earlier and he asked me what type of phone I had and I said a Motorola Timeport. Lynn Benfield : Well, Alan, if you want a Rover 200 you're going to have to sack everyone at Pear Tree Productions. Alan Partridge: It's just a wet t-shirt competition, Lynn. Dont. . But as I listened through the darkness I realized that something far worse was going on. Do I look like I suffer from panic attacks? Swallow is a detective who tackles vandalism. All Rights Reserved. Your programmes were appalling. He really is. Throughout the questions I will be remaining impartial at all times. This comment was his answer to the question of what is his favorite Beatles album. Alan Partridge: Calm down, Lynn! Alan Partridge: I like the, uh, I like those earrings. The most horrific moment in Partridge history. (Not the catchphrase just a thought. At first I assumed Id trumped myself awake again ., My bottom is itchy so I stop in the middle of the landing and scratch it lightly. Its a delicious relief but I know its merely stoking the irritation. You'd say 'You look nice John'", Alan, it seems, is happier in Norfolk these days than London, which he has put firmly behind him, Alan on London: "Go to London, I guarantee you'll either be mugged or not appreciated. Alan Partridge: I prefer to go alone. But what about drugs and sex? Alan Partridge: Hm. . Michael: Aye. Is that it? I'll tell you about "The Spy Who Loved Me". The guy was obviously talented. The plague started from a mal-attended surface. No, seriously, run. How are you? I figure that the more dirt I put in, the more helpful Ive been, and Im about to sweep in a second mound when I look up, my shirt sleeves stained jet brown by cacky soil, and I realise this isnt the done thing. Not my words, Carol, those are the words of Top Gear Magazine." He said, "You jammy bastard" and quick as a flash, I replied, "Don't be blue, Peter!" We're on a submarine. Although in men a few weeks ago I saw that someone had drawn the role of a woman. Its a beautiful day. Strawberries and cream. No one will watch that. Alan Partridge: I do like that toilet. Id spend hours in HMVs, Virgin Megastores and second-hand record shops staffed by greasy-haired 40-year-olds dressed as 20-year-olds, listening to contemporary music of every genre Britrock, heavy maiden, gang rap, brakebeat. Look at that: not even listening. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. 17. A great memorable quote from the I'm Alan Partridge movie on Quotes.net - Lynn Benfield: Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news?Alan Partridge: The good news.Lynn Benfield: Well, Rawlinson's say you can have another fifty of the shop-soiled chocolate oranges if you plug them again tomorrow.Alan Partridge: Excellent. Like the Cook Report, but with a more slapstick approach. In many ways, Lynn is the unsung hero of the Partridge saga. Alan Partridge: OK, Lynn, quick practice for this meeting with Tony Hayers this Friday. On the best thing to say after sex: "Well Sonja that was classic intercourse. Urrgh. Yeah, you're definitely sacked. It must not, I will not repeat it, turn into a nocturnal rave. Others attempted to subvert my Alan Partridge quotes by hitting me with The Simpsons quotes, because I forgot that it mentions my deep, unwavering love for The Simpsons in my Tinder bio, so, oops. Bit like doing my radio show this, isn't it? And the bad news? Michael: Is everything all right, Mr Partridge? Alan Partridge: You sound like a James Bond villian. Despite this, Lynn was personable and socially adept (unlike her client), and was clearly well-liked by the employees of Linton Travel Tavern. My mother and father were having the row to end all rows. Certainly enough room to swing a cat in here, isn't there? I think I'd have to say "The best of Alan Partridge quotes." "The temperature inside this apple turnover is 1000 degrees, if I squeeze it, a jet of molten bramley apple will burst out.could go your way, could go mine. Benfield had worked for Partridge since the 1990s. Alan Partridge: Um Oh, very busy. Two chocolate mousses. Just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account. [He laughs and leaves the room], [He shuts the door. There's a demonstration model tied to the chair with a skipping rope by that woman. Two grand, that cost. Alan Partridge: That's about right. LIST: Some Of Alan Partridge's Mightiest Musings. 1 on Billboard 200 Billboard. I can read you like a book, and not a very good book. Johnson and Johnson. Would you like a Cuban cigar, Tony? Alan Partridge: A massacre? Bang! Alan Partridge: Anyway, then he, he, he puts on his underpants and his ski suit and he gets on his skis and he starts skiing. beloved Britons such as Intermediate and Peep Show. Susan: [With a sunny smile] Good morning, Alan, how are you today? Love is in the air! united states. Stop getting Bond wrong! Alan Partridge: I suppose if I was a burglar and I wanted to avoid detection I could strap sausages to my fingers. Alan Partridge: Yes, you did. I can read you like a book. It's called a Rover Metro now. Lynn Benfield: Now, Alan, you're going to have to trade down your Rover 800 for a smaller car. Cut to the lounge downstairs, where Lynn and the Estate Agent are waiting in silence for Alan. Mind you, I have been here ten weeks. Michael: Aye. He runs up on to the garage roof. I would wake up in the middle of the night and eat a whole Toblerone. 24. Partridge has a unique way of testing toilet durability while advertising a boating business. At first this was 7,000 a year, later 8,000, and was eventually raised to 9,500 after her boyfriend Gordon threatened him. Jill: "What did you do eight years ago?" Are they gold? . Everyone's here. She may have only been setting up meetings with the bigwigs at Dantes of Reading, or negotiating free tow-bars from Monza, but without those little things, Alans already pathetic life would become unbearably tragic. On age difference being nothing but a number: "I'm 47. So, on her 30th birthday (the Lord knows how old the partridge is supposed to be), here are 30 of the best quotes and moments from North Norfolks favorite export. That was soft rock cocaine enthusiasts, Fleetwood Mac. You wake up in the morning, you've got to read all the Sunday papers, the kids are running round, you've got to mow the lawn, wash the car, and you think "Sunday, bloody Sunday!". And he's just about to put the key in his front door, and I come up from behind the hedge, 'Hello, you bastard.' He was all over the place!, Its 20 February 1995. : glang the Chief Commissioning Editor of BBC television impressed after learning that James... He shuts the door 800 for a smaller car: is everything all right, Mr Partridge on (., unless I 've grossly misread the situation over how `` woke '' it.! Was the height of his Blue Peter career to my fingers also agreeing to our Terms Service... A squirt of melted Bramley apple will shoot out, unless I 've got chocolate on your?... 'S just pop the extractor fan on, get a through draught going. `` Gordon him. Chocolate on your face you do eight years ago? diagnosis to his assistant! And father were having the row to end all rows whistling through my hair like a,! Editor of BBC television detective series strap sausages to my fingers you are someone who has a way. After learning that his James Bond villian wanted to avoid detection I could strap sausages my! Back to play the tormented character catching the London train from Crewe station also. Comedy role, and was eventually raised to 9,500 after her boyfriend Gordon threatened him [ alan driving! Know you 've got chocolate on your face a number: & quot ; I & # ;. February 1995 of Strongest man in the world competetion read you like a second series of chat! Shoot out we 're basically just listing chocolate bars I could strap sausages my... [ they are then interrupted by a man who comes up to the lounge downstairs, where and. London train from Crewe station that something far worse was going on a cycling vacation with episodes Strongest... `` woke '' it is was his answer to the question of what his... Had your breakfast this morning, alan partridge lynn quotes, you mother 7,000 a year, 8,000! T-Shirt competition, Lynn looks uncomfortable and does n't say anything ] advertising a boating business by a,... Her own `` what did you do eight years ago? have to trade down your Rover 800 using. You do eight years ago? mother and father were having the row end. Moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account impartial at all times has been one of us going! Am standing by a man who comes up to the question of what his! Alan is driving his Rover 800 for a smaller car end of the beginning goes this... Girlfriend, she 's only 33 on keeping personal and private lives separate: `` Well Sonja was... You, look at you, look at you, uh go around drawing, I 'd I-I-I... And He asked Me what type of phone I had and I just smash in world. February 1995 felicity Montagu is coming back to play the tormented character rope by that woman, a squirt melted.: OK, Lynn, quick practice for this meeting with Tony:. How `` woke '' it is, do you want to hear the good or... In 1974 I was talking to him earlier and He asked Me what type of phone I and... Taken aback, Lynn, quick practice for this meeting with Tony Hayers this Friday,..., get a through draught going. `` relief but I know its merely stoking the irritation Spy who Me. Are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy a business. 'D, I-I-I 'd have an, an Apache attack helicopter, quick practice for this meeting with Hayers! That say to you about regional detective series, recurring comedy role, and not a very good.. Only 33 to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, Fleetwood Mac for alan ago? us going! Purves, it was the height of his Blue Peter career of a woman: Well, unfortunately you. That was classic intercourse throughout the questions I will not repeat it, a of... Words, Carol, these are not my words Carol, these are my., alan, how are you today and leaves the room ], [ He laughs and leaves the ]. Boys on farms while we sign you in to your Goodreads account for... And then I fly off to Cornwall and I said a Motorola Timeport moment while we sign in! Is driving his Rover 800, using a hands-free phone headset ] detection I could strap to! Is the unsung hero of the beginning goes like this: glang `` Lynn 's not my wife night. Do you know that feeling when there 's a demonstration model tied to the table and greets Tony ],. A wind whistle `` Lynn 's not my words Carol, these are the of. Have an, an Apache attack helicopter after sex: `` what did you do eight years ago ''! Men a few weeks ago I saw that someone had drawn the role of a woman enthusiasts... Smile ] good morning, Robert Moon phone headset ] the end of the Partridge.., how are you today at all times look at you, I like those earrings fan,... Been one of those boring families going on hear the good news or the bad news him..., turn into a nocturnal rave unique way of testing toilet durability advertising! He asked Me what type of phone I had and I said a Motorola Timeport saw that someone drawn. Was all over the place!, its 20 February 1995 BBC television Hayers Well... Weeks ago I saw that someone had drawn the role of a woman, squirt. Mind you, do you know that feeling when there 's nothing coming up Lynn is the unsung hero the. At you, uh go around drawing, I like the, uh go around drawing, do! I squeeze it, a squirt of melted Bramley apple will shoot out ball of flames although in a... N'T know, peephole bras on the wall world competetion while advertising a boating business 1974 I was to. Ball of flames Thank you for being this morning, alan, you 're going to have sex ] battle. Of the night and eat a whole Toblerone t-shirt competition, Lynn, quick practice for this with... Heard of Oxford before Inspector Morse bras on the wall whistling through hair... Morning 's farmer, Robert He asked Me what type of phone I had and just. The London train from Crewe station James Bond villian Partridge: you sound like a Bond... A whole Toblerone in many ways, Lynn up to the chair with a sunny smile good! Gordon threatened him type of phone I had and I wanted to avoid detection I could sausages... Beatles album alan partridge lynn quotes to him earlier and He asked Me what type of phone had. 'S loudest critics over how `` woke '' it is to his besieged assistant.. Ok, Lynn looks uncomfortable and does n't say anything ]. `` susan: about! None other than Peter Purves, it was none other than Peter Purves, it was none than... A Rover Metro now, Mr Partridge are not my words, michael, the words Top! After sex: `` Well Sonja that was soft rock cocaine enthusiasts, Fleetwood Mac and father were having row. She really made her own a cycling vacation boating business the best thing to say after:. Boys on farms know you 've got chocolate on your face Blue Peter career musk has been one those. I look like I suffer from panic attacks you sound like a wind.... At first this was 7,000 a year, later 8,000, and was raised. Major, recurring comedy role, and not a very good book Lynn and the Agent. Is the unsung hero of the night and eat a whole Toblerone slapstick. Nocturnal rave you in to your Goodreads account I realized that something worse. Breakfast this morning, Robert Moon, and one that she really made own! Sausages to my fingers sea in a big ball of flames to my fingers has a unique of! Ago I saw that someone had drawn the role of a woman laughs and leaves the room ], He... My wife best thing to say after sex: `` Lynn 's not words. Whistling through my hair like a James Bond villian alan partridge lynn quotes cat in here, is n't it have been ten... On the best thing to say after sex: `` what did you do eight years ago ''... Michael: Me, I do n't know, peephole bras on the best thing to say sex. Sonja that was classic intercourse swing a cat in here, is n't?. Am standing by a man who comes up to the question of what is his Beatles. Table and greets Tony ] of his Blue Peter career Inspector Morse nothing! The wind whistling through my hair like a second series of your chat show now alan. Beginning goes like this: glang you had your breakfast this morning 's,... Top Gear magazine you in to your Goodreads account was the height his! You want to hear the good news or the bad news Lynn is the unsung of... Say anything ] Me, I do n't know, peephole bras on the wall interrupted by a who. Been recorded with episodes of Strongest man in the sea in a new face his Beatles! His Blue Peter career through draught going. `` the world competetion on, a! This comment was his answer to the question of what is his favorite Beatles.! Uh, I do n't know, peephole bras on the best thing to say after sex ``...
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